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  CM 00/01

Avoiding Arguments

What do you do when someone says something unfair or unkind? Do you suffer in silence, not knowing what to say? Do you speak up, only to wish you hadn't? It's natural to take offense if someone is rude. But blurting out how you feel sets an adversarial tone and will only make matters worse. Dealing with difficult people is part od everyday life.

Handle Hassles With Humour
All of us have buttons that can cause us to lose our cool. If you have condition that bothers you, try having fun with it. For instance, give your partner a kiss whenever you raise your voice. As the saying goes,'If you can't beat them, join them.'

Don't Explain
Don't bother explaining. Well-intentioned though they may be, such explanations usually add to the complainer's aggravation because they come across as excuses. Instead, agree, apologize and then move on to what can be done about it.
Telling someone you're sorry does not mean you're admitting guilt. It simply acknowledges his frustration and defuses the complaint. Then by taking action and focusing on what can be done, you remedy mistake before it gets bigger.

Exit Gracefully
In almost every controversy each side has legitimate points, so agreeing to disagree is one of several graceful exits from a no-win discussion. Stop, before you do irreparable harm. One effective way to sidestep stalemates is to say,'We're both right!' and move on to a safer topic.

No matter what the situation, arguments are a waste or, at best, a misuse of time. By avoiding fruitless arguments, everybody wins.

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