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Rules of Engagement

Men may truly love their women, but there are certain clauses which doesn't exist when it comes to the signing of the pre-nuptial agreement. Which clauses will they sign off on? Some examples : I AGREE

- to flirt only with women of a similar body shape to that of my wife, and never with anyone thinner.
- to marvel when she has an entire dinner table full of people laughing at her stories, even though I may have heard it hundreds of times before.
- Not to cough, sneeze, breathe or otherwise suggest my existence during the broadcast of the medical drama, ER.
- to listen, without comment, to her wailing of her favourite singer-songwriters.
- not to correct her when she sings the wrong words of the songs.
- not to give map directions when she is driving, acknowledging that when I'm not present she somehow manages to get around.
- to accept that she will have the remote control 3 days a week.
- to accept her use of the word "we" when describing to her sister the back-breaking labour I have completed on my own, as in "we rebuilt the fence on Sunday".
- to learn all her strange family expressions and teach them to our children so that these peculiar traditions may be carried on.
- to watch as she tries on 5 identical black tops, before agreeing that, "the second one is best."
- to remain able, however, to sense subtle changes and adopt a preference for Black Top No. 4 should she change her mind.
- that after talking about my own day at work, I might occasionally remember to ask about hers.
- never, even in the heat of the argument, to employ the phrase, "You're growing more like your mother every day".
- finally and crucially, I agree to find her gorgeous and sexy even when she's dressed in house socks and tracksuit.


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